Saturday, October 31, 2009

CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD 4

Hello all!

After a long absence...I'M BAAAAACK...

Well, the poop really hit the fan this week. I lost a big job, and my car died, and I overdrew my checking account...

So I did what every girl does: I spent a while during the wee hours running through the house screaming, lying in bed crying, and punching my pillow...which is far less painful than punching the walls...

And do you know what? It actually made me feel a lot better...

AS WELL IT SHOULD!

God almighty...


THE VERY ARTICLE...


I wish you wouldn't sneak up behind me...

I LOVE THE WAY YOU TWITCH WHEN I DO IT ...JUST LIKE MOSES...

Well, at least I didnt smash a bunch of stone tablets...

TRUE, YOU GET POINTS FOR THAT

BY THE BYE, HAVE YOU STOPPED TO NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT GOES ON WHEN A GOOD THING HAPPENS TO YOU VERSUS A BAD THING?

Can't say that I have...so tell me...

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK THAT OUT FOR YOURSELF WITH FEAR AND TREMBLING - BUT OK...JUST THIS ONCE...

Ah, so you are a "just" God after all...

GROAN...THOSE POINTS? GONE!

IT'S SIMPLE, REALLY... A GOOD THING HAPPENS IN A FLASH, UNEXPECTEDLY...WITHOUT PRIOR WARNING...

Sort of like Ed McMahon knocking at your door to tell you that you have won the sweepstakes?

YES! AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU, OLD ST. PETER GOT SO EXCITED WHEN ED KNOCKED ON OUR DOOR...

I hope old Pete wasn't too let down...

A LITTLE, UNTIL ED STEPPED OVER THE THRESHOLD AND CALLED OUT "AND HEEEEEEEER'S ED!"... I DO A PRETTY GOOD IMITATION, DON'T YOU THINK?

Not bad...not bad at all...

ANYWAY, WHEN A BAD THING HAPPENS, IT STARTS OUT AS JUST A LITTLE TINY THING, JUST A SMIDGEN OF A THING REALLY, AND IT TAKES ITS SWEET OLD TIME AND HIDES IN THE SHADOWS AND YOU KNOW IT IS OUT THERE BUT CAN'T PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT, AND IT GETS BIGGER AND BIGGER AND AND BIGGER AND JUST AS YOU REALISE WHAT IS HAPPENING, ZOWEE!, IT EXPLODES ALL OVER YOU!

OMG! (oops, sorry...) You are right. Thats how it happens...

TELL YOU A SECRET...

Ok...tell all...

KEEP AN EYE OUT ALL THE TIME FOR LITTLE SMIDGENS LURKING IN THE SHADOWS AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEM BEFORE THEY HAVE A CHANCE TO GET ANY BIGGER...

Jesus H Christ! Too easy, can't do it... Is it really that simple?

YEP...THAT SIMPLE...

I'll have to work on that...

WITH FEAR AND TREMBLING?

Absolutely!

GOOD GIRL. YOU GOT YOUR POINTS BACK...

Thank you. By the way, what DOES the H in your Son's name stand for?

DARN IF I KNOW. HE WON'T TELL ME... AND I STILL CAN'T GET HARRY TRUMAN TO TELL ME WHAT THE S IN HIS NAME STANDS FOR...

Good night God...

GOOD NIGHT. I BLESS YOU...



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The god represented herein may or may not bear any resemblance to any other god, real or fictional, and the views presented here are those of the author alone, and should not be construed to represent those of any god living, dead, or immortal.